I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
