Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
