I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
