Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
