so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
