my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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