when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
never play flip cup with pint glasses
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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