After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
True strength comes from lack of pants
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
