at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
