why didn't you poke me back
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
