She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
