I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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