ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
