Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
