so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
