I'm really into asian looking animals
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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