My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
