btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
40s are totally the cure
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
