Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
