You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
