Sry I called you an 8
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
