The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
