Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
