Having a random hookup so left but love u
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
They are going to name an STD after you.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
