Christians are straight up FREAKS
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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