i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
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