I heard we made out
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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