pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
