dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
