You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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