people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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