I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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