Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
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