This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
