I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
