i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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