the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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