I wish life had little blips of pornography
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
where are you?
Hypothermia
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
