I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
