Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
