I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
