Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
