the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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