Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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