I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
