Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
