I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
