I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
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