just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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