school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
